Living in the Light of Truth
Tuesday’s Child is Full of Grace
Angeline was born on a typical Southern California winter's day, on Tuesday, January 7, 1958. She was the last of five daughters to bless the home of Stella and John Damigos, both of Greek descent. "I identify firstly as 100% Greek. My father died at sea when I was ten years old. This was a very pivotal and devastating loss in my life and has formed everything about who I am, ever since"
A Passion to Live in The Light of Truth
It has been said that when a man died in ancient Greece,
they asked only one question, “Did he have passion?”
"Passion is an interesting word to consider. I’d have to say that my passion is to live in The Light of Truth. “The Truth” to me is about what is real, and what is real is about what brings about true love and peace. Clarity is also something that I will always wait/look for and consider in my life. I believe that there is so much that distorts reality and what I know to be God’s Perfect Will (I know this distortion to be fear). Identifying the fears that block the Light of Truth, is what I am truly passionate about. I have learned the importance of waiting for those times when The Truth makes complete sense and I feel at one with my purpose and God’s ultimate will. The channels of The Light of Truth, Love and Peace in my life have been:
- My Sons and Granddaughters
- The Ocean/Sea or Beach
- Music/Art
- My Education
- Being of Service to Others
When I was very young (three yrs old I believe) I was in the hospital with a very high fever. They tell me I was packed in ice for four days. I have a pre-verbal/intuitive memory of floating towards a pink light that shown through a window with sheer curtains. I tend to recall this memory in my darkest moments, and it is there that I am reminded of my greatest passion (Truth) which is to seek the Face of God (My Creator) in all I do. So it is much more about what I do with intention, rather than what I do in occupation or hobbies and talents. With that said, here are some of the things I have been known to “do” to bring about Truth and Clarity which in turn brings about Love and Peace:
1. Journal Writing
I have been writing since I was about ten years old, but have actual bound journals of my writings that I have kept since I was fourteen. There are currently 165 volumes in my oak bookshelf. I like to write at least three pages daily, but that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes I don’t write for days or weeks, and at other times I can write over twenty pages in one sitting. I have heard that there is such a thing as "hypergraphia". I’m pretty sure that I have this condition. Writing helps me process and come to a place of clarity. I love going back and reading where I was in my younger years, or how I got through the difficult times in my life.
2. Music
I had a teacher in the 4th grade tell me that she noticed how much I loved to sing. The principal of my elementary school used to take me with him to lead the singing of Christmas carols as he played his violin for each classroom. It was very natural for me to sing since there was always a lot of singing in my home growing up with my mother and sisters. I could harmonize before I even knew what that meant. I sang in all the choirs at school and many churches during my childhood. I was always a lead singer and a natural in harmonizing.
My high school choir teacher told me that since I wasn’t going to go to college that I would never amount to anything and then said, I would probably just get married and have babies. That same day he kicked me out of a select choir for which I had been in for three years. It was my senior year and it devastated me. I almost dropped out of school (in spite of my good grades).
I wanted to go to college like all of my friends, but I had no idea how I could possibly do that since growing up we were pretty poor. I had moved out on my own the summer going into my senior year thinking I could create a better life for myself. I had one boyfriend in college and another who didn’t like school. I had hoped that if I moved out I would learn how to go to college from the boyfriend who was in college, but instead I married the boyfriend who didn’t like school just one month after I barely graduated from high school. Immediately after we married, I was miserable. I realized how much I really wanted to go to college after all.
3. Learning and Education
I value learning and the freedoms that comes from obtaining an education.
Newly married, I enrolled at Long Beach City College. It was so difficult because all of my new college friends couldn’t believe I was married. Neither could I. I felt more myself in college,and not at all myself as a young married woman.
After a few months, I finally told my new husband that I wasn’t happy and we talked about getting a divorce. I was so relieved. Two days later he was offered a job in Bakersfield, California and asked if I wanted to go with him and give our marriage another try. I thought it would be an enlightening adventure and so I said yes, again giving up on my dream of going to college.
We moved to Bakersfield, bought a home and had two sons. Becoming a mother to my sons was magical! I loved them so much and felt a brand new powerful purpose in my life, but the distance between my husband and I grew, and we became more estranged than ever. Then in 1981, just a few months after my second son was born, I began to get very sick.
I began to wake up every day with swelling in my joints and pain that would move from my hands to my arms then to my feel and my knees. It was then that I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and began numerous medical regimes: medications, pain management, occupational therapy, couples counseling and eventual psychotherapy. This continued for three years until the truth of who and what I truly am, combined with a light that shown on a sincere desire to be all I could be, made it completely apparent that there was so much more for me to do with my life. I had this overwhelming feeling that the emptiness of my marriage was draining a kind of “life force” out of me.
I quickly learned that my marriage was not going to support this determination to do more with my life and shortly after I realized this, I found myself divorced after nine years of marriage and numerous attempts at trying to make sense out of this drive to go to college and do more with my life along with the guilt of breaking up my family. The confusion was blinding.
Out of fear of being so alone, I immediately moved in with a man who was kind and supportive of my dream, but he was also an alcoholic who was trying to recover. Together we learned about the 12 Steps of Recovery. He tried to get sober and entered a rehab program and I attended all the family support meetings/classes. There was so much to learn about creating a new life in recovery. I was full of joy and hope for our future. I was going to go to college and live out my dreams, and he was going to get sober! We talked at length about the beautiful life we would create together. The disease of alcoholism however, is said to be cunning, baffling, and powerful and one day he walked in the house, went back to the bedroom, and shot himself. It was a horrible nightmare.
I began to fall in a very deep state of confusion. Many of the people I had met in therapy and 12 step programs were very concerned about me. They rallied around me and gave me great counsel. I stopped drinking alcohol myself. My life started getting better and soon after was given a series of psychological testing and assessments that shed some light on what appeared to be my natural talents and interest, as well as the fact that I also had a pretty high IQ. (Who knew?)
An evaluator of these tests and assessments from the Department of Rehab, invited me to come to her office one day. Sitting at her desk, she began sharing with me how they would like to offer me some scholarships and grants to pay for me to earn my degree. I was shocked and scared. I had no idea what this would look like. How could I possibly do this??? I was a single mother, no child support and/or alimony, or a job. I immediately went to talk to my ex-husband and told him what she was offering. He laughed and said I’d never be able to support myself. I told him I was going to try my best, and begged him to share custody of my sons with me so I could at least try. (This co-parenting was most successful thing we ever did together). I will always be grateful that he was willing to step up for this.
I was a twenty-seven year old single mother with rheumatoid arthritis, lots of pain and a load of new pain management skills. Over the next eleven years, I spent over five stays in and out of the hospital with flare ups and all kinds of autoimmune issues, all the while still raising my sons and attending college. During this time I was living on Social Security benefits ($600 a month), Food Stamps, and scholarships. I felt like I had no other option. I had learned to wake up, make my bed, prepare meals for myself and my sons, and do my best in each of my classes. This was no easy feat! (understatement). My sons and I soon found a rhythm that worked and on a very limited income, we were happy at the home we had made in our small apartment.
I majored in Vocal Performance, Theatre and Literature from 1986 (in spite of the many setbacks due to my illness), and finally graduated with an AA degree in 1989. Then I earned a BA degree in 1995. It felt dreamy, like it wasn’t really my life.
After my Bachelors degree, I decided that the best profession for me as a single mother would be to teach so I could have the same holidays and vacation time off as my sons. I then continued on for another year obtaining a teaching credential and landing a teaching contract as a high school English teacher in 1996.
I soon discovered that I was particularly good with “At Risk” students and more specifically teaching them English. I then became a trained Literacy Coach and from there developed a literacy program that was very successful in helping struggling students gain the necessary proficiencies to graduate. Along with this, I developed a personal social/guidance component to my programs that also lead to creating workshops for teachers in creative classroom management policies and procedures. I became known and respected for my creative nature and in teaching adults, and in 1994 began teaching various workshops in my home. I did this for over twelve years.
I majored in Vocal Performance, Theatre and Literature from 1986 (in spite of the many setbacks due to my illness), and finally graduated with an AA degree in 1989. Then I earned a BA degree in 1995. It felt dreamy, like it wasn’t really my life.
After my Bachelors degree, I decided that the best profession for me as a single mother would be to teach so I could have the same holidays and vacation time off as my sons. I then continued on for another year obtaining a teaching credential and landing a teaching contract as a high school English teacher in 1996.
I soon discovered that I was particularly good with “At Risk” students and more specifically teaching them English. I then became a trained Literacy Coach and from there developed a literacy program that was very successful in helping struggling students gain the necessary proficiencies to graduate. Along with this, I developed a personal social/guidance component to my programs that also lead to creating workshops for teachers in creative classroom management policies and procedures. I became known and respected for my creative nature and in teaching adults, and in 1994 began teaching various workshops in my home. I did this for over twelve years.
During this time, I learned about how important it is to pay attention to our creative and therefore, “spiritual journey”. I then tried my hand at painting and found a powerful creative flow (much like my journal writing). My art teacher said she that had never seen anything like what I was creating, and she told me that whatever I did that it was very important to never stop. The next thing I knew I began showing my art in art shows and galleries, and have sold paintings all over the country.
My love for singing reared up again in 2005, and I began performing in local coffee houses as a solo singer-songwriter. In order to preserve the music I was writing, I went to a recording studio and in 2007, and tried my hand at recording, producing, and publishing a CD of ten original songs titled “Exposed”. This was a ton of work but so exhilarating as I experienced the thrill of my CD being sold on ITunes and Amazon, and a radio interview as well. Wow!
As a result of my workshops, it became apparent to me that my next step would be to obtain a PPS/Counseling Credential. I returned to school and earned an MS in School Counseling with a Thesis Project in Grief Counseling. This project was a workbook for school counselors in the guiding of students who have suffered the loss of a loved one, through a ten session series. Even though all of this was very successful and well received by my peers and professors, I had to wait another seven years before I was hired as a counselor for the school district I work for.
It was at this time that a light of truth made apparent that the district I worked for had other agendas that superseded doing what was right and best for our students. I became furious at what I learned about the politics in education as a whole, and decided that I could best use my talents and instincts in a positive way to make a difference in education by obtaining yet another credential in Educational Leadership/Administration. I completed this credential in March of 2014.
Instead of being able to fulfill my dream of becoming a Director of Alternative Education, I found myself smack in the middle of a denied disability claim just one month before I finished my degree. It felt like the Twilight Zone as the months passed, and I kept learning more and more about the politics and bureaucracy that takes over in such situations. An unknown chemical was sprayed in my office which lead to some respiratory health issues for me and other staff members as well. Along with this claim being denied, I have also been banned/blackballed from promoting. Since then I have applied and interviewed for over forty positions in just four years without being offered a position. I am currently working as an Intervention Counselor. Although I am somewhat over qualified for this position, I have learned to make it my own. My effort has been to affect as much change as I can by bringing about Light and Truth as much as possible, within a system wrought with distortion, muddy agendas, and retaliation for speaking the truth.
4. Art and Fashion Boutique
Two years ago I signed up to be a fashion consultant for a MLM company. I fell in love with many of the aspects of this kind of online sales and fashion; however, there was a lot about the company I did not like. So after a year, I ventured off into my own online/in-home art boutique just ten short months ago. This has been quite the learning experience and it has become so much more than I could have ever hoped for. There is this amazing joy and enthusiasm in building relationships with a really sweet clientele of amazing friends. Women come to my home to shop and end up making friends by supporting one another in the process, and in so many other ways. It’s truly a beautiful gift for many of us. (“There are no mistakes” is a line in one of my original songs).
Back in 1999, in one of my creative workshops I wrote out a dream of owning a place called, “Comes The Dawn” (from the poem about learning how to decorate your own soul). My vision saw a place where people came to sit and visit, attend workshops and wellness events, etc. When I decided to try my hand at owning my own boutique, I knew exactly what I would call it: Anjlart’s Comes The Dawn Art Boutique: a place for people to be creative and come to shop, visit and support one another.
5. Travel
Something that brings me to my greatest purpose and The Light of Truth, is traveling. I love all kinds of travel from weekend road trips to month long European adventures. Since I have an infinity for the ocean/sea, I have found that sailing and cruising are ultra heady and joyful for my soul. One of the very best gifts of working in education is the time off that allows for great travel experiences. In the past twenty-four years, I have sailed, cruised, trained, and flown to many countries, islands and destinations. This last summer, I spent a month visiting Italy, Croatia, Montenegro, Malta and always my very favorite, the country of my people, Greece. While in such places as Santorini, Mykonos, Rhodes, and Crete, I was moved by the powerful inspiration for my boutique. The dream continues, and I love attending to it as it unfolds.
Roadblocks and Breakthrough Moments
Roadblocks and Breakthrough Moments
As you can probably tell by the above telling of my story, I have learned that when a “setback” happens in my life (although some have been extremely difficult and debilitating at times), that it has always resulted in another possibility and more accurately, pointed me in the direction for which I am to go next. This is how I learned that fear is a lie and it will block us and make us miserable and unhappy if we continue believing it. The Light of Truth however, says “pay attention”, for when something happens that appears to be “wrong” or “not going my way”, it just means there is a pony to be found buried under the pile that covers it.
Pursuing a passion for me is usually of the fire under my butt variety. I have always found myself in a tight spot just before I remember to tap into the process of “Surrendering and Trusting” the seeking of God’s will verses what others are telling me I “should/should not” do, or of what is the norm. I am not at all your typical mother, woman, educator, artist, boutique owner, musician, etc. I know this. I see it in others faces and comments all the time. It can really hurt at first but with experience I have learned to relax, and write in my journal, pray, process and set forth a plan. Then I can Let Go and Let God. I’ve learned to avoid struggling and how to be patient as I wait for an intuitive thought or action. During this waiting period it is important that when in doubt I just do something to serve others for fun and for free with no expectation and then, that is when my answers come.
The beauty of how this all works is amazing to me. I’ve also come to practice simply putting one foot in front of the other. Stay in “today” for it is only in “today” that we have have any power at all. I’ve learned to practice acceptance, show up, pay attention, and be honest no matter what. I know what rigorous honesty is and how different that is from brutal honesty. I personally have to live a life where I am foremost honest with myself. If not, I will never find the Light of Truth.
I know in my heart that my biggest roadblock has been fear, and the work to overcome fear is about spending the necessary time it takes to unlearn the conditioning of fear. I believe we can carry many false and erroneous messages that block us and weigh us down. My own internal misunderstandings of who and what I really am have been messages I got growing up in my family, society, culture, communities, etc. Messages about what is good, bad, right, wrong, possible, unobtainable and so on. These are really just so called “roadblocks and setbacks” and as I identify them for what they are, they tend to disappear and The Light of Truth can shine through. I Love when this happens,...and it always does.
Support and Encouragement
I do believe it is important to have support and a sense of community from our family and friends, but I have to say that it is even more important to have a good sense of self and solitude in order to listen well and wait for The Light of Truth. I have come to learn (for me) a lot of times the opinions or suggestions of others is not what truly guides me. It’s the voice of God (clarity) that may come “through” others, but is not “of” others. I have a theory called “otherism” or “people addiction” in which I believe that being too enmeshed with others is not even close to the beauty of what it truly means to “Love One Another”. To me “loving” is about serving without an attachment of the apparent outcome.
Future Goals
I teach my clients the difference between fantasy, dreams, and goals. Fantasies are in my head and we typically shy away from talking about them. Dreams on the other hand, are ideas we talk about (sometimes too much talking), and goals are when we make plans that we take the necessary steps to carry out. Here are some of my goals.
1. First, I’m making a plan to finally move out of Bakersfield and find a final home as close to the ocean/sea as possible. I am hoping it will happen soon. I practice “acceptance” about being here daily. Fingers crossed, trusting God’s perfect will and long conversations with God voicing that I wouldn’t be disappointed if something came my way sooner than what seems reasonable.
Another lesson learned is that I can make plans, but the outcome is always up to God. It always ends up better than I could have planned it anyway, so it’s extremely important to leave enough room in my thinking for a larger landscape than I can see.
A second part of this first goal includes retiring from what has become of our educational system. I’m so very disappointed with what is happening in education today. Having been a part of some amazing innovating work in alternative education while in high school (which is what set me on fire to earn my education and therefore pass on the passion for education), I am saddened by the insult that it has become and I apologize daily to our young people for the way it is being delivered to their lives.
I do however love consulting and facilitating my own private workshops. I have been told that I am quite effective as a Life Coach etc. In addition, I love the joy that happens with Anjlart’s Comes The Dawn Art Boutique, as well as while traveling in Greece and how I seriously felt God pointing to all the amazing boutique ideas in Santorini, Mykonos, Rhodes, Crete etc. saying, "Here, do this!” They were so beautiful and resonated in my heart and soul quite deeply.
2. Another goal I’ve always had is to be all together in Greece with my sons and granddaughters some day. If not all together, then at least one on one if need be. Being in Greece is like filling up with premium fuel. Being in Greece with my sons and granddaughters...well, I can only imagine that my heart will turn to precious gold.
I am planning to go to Greece for a month next summer. This time I will get a little house to stay in for the duration. This will allow family and friends to come visit and stay awhile with me. I have a goal to take each granddaughter on a trip (rotating each summer) as they grow up, to teach them the passion of travel.
3. An additional goal is to find a way to really live a most quality life possible with the years I have left. I am hoping to live to be 100! I think that would be amazing. I want to find a way to be healthy but not be too much of fanatic about it. I currently do a little yoga daily, a weekly class and I also walk daily. I ride my bike and swim as much as possible too. I hope to continue all of this until I am 100 years old.
4. I can’t wait to really focus on my writing. I have a list of book ideas I am so ready to begin. I’ve created a couple of photo books for my kids. I also want to create a photo book of my art with a brief narrative about each painting.
5. I will always continue to paint. The next painting will be for my granddaughter Stella (like I did for the others, Ruby and Marie). I want to keep working on “My Little Greek Village” painting series from photos of my travels to Greece. When I travel, I take tons of photos with the intent of capturing something paint worthy.
6. I love to visit seniors and keep in touch with them. Some of my favorite people on the planet are 70, 80 and 90 year olds. I love them so much! I make sure to visit and call them as often as possible (once a week). I know what it’s like not to hear from loved ones as I get older. I’m very saddened by the fact that our millennial generation are so self-absorbed and disrespectful to their elders. I don’t like the way the ageism gap is growing. Our seniors are very valuable to our society, and yet they are so incredibly lonely. They are the carriers of wisdom that is so valuable. I have found an abundance of love, peace, and light in calling and visiting them.
I love setting goals! Can you tell? I have a goal chart and I cross off the steps as I go. Some are financial goals. Paying off debt, losing pounds, days left to retire, next travel goals, etc.
So to sum it all up, I want to share here that the best way to live in The Light of Truth in a way that allows us to be all we were created to be, is to realized that our gifts and talents are given to us to serve one another as channel of Divine Love and Peace. As we bring as much clarity to one another and mirror the dispelling of fear for ourselves and others, we free ourselves to live in a way that is beyond our greatest imaginings.
Some people have said that my life makes them jealous. I say, I hope they are more inspired instead of jealous. I have learned that if your heart has a desire, then it is important to inventory where this desire comes from and even more importantly, to identify the voices and messages that try to sabotage this desire or dream. As I work with students, clients and the like, I always asked them,”What do you wish for?” Therein lies your passion and heart.
People are not lazy, they are blocked. A blocked wish makes us sad and depressed. Being sad or depressed for a long period of time, results in anger. Let us all ask one another, “What do you wish for?” Then listen and you will also learn about yourself.
With the fullest heart I could never imagine, I thank my amazing sister Marcie for asking me these profound questions which brought about the telling of my story. What a loving gift it is to interview someone. Isn’t it? As I wrote out my answers the Light of Truth came back into focus for me in many areas that had been darkened by fear, lies and distortion. Thank you so very much for asking, for reading, and for relating. Namaste! (The Light in Me salutes The Light in You!)"
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| My precious granddaughters: Marie, Stella and Ruby |
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