Living in a Bubble

Bubbles in my tub, 

Bubbles in my tub,

Bubbles in the air.

Bubbles in my tub,

Bubbles in my tub,

Bubbles everywhere. – author unknown

What little child cannot be coaxed into taking a bath when it is filled with bubbles and accompanied by mommy's gentle voice chanting little ditties like the one mentioned above?  

Children are absolutely mesmerized with bubbles! From their first bubble filled bath, to their favorite outdoor experience of joyfully squealing while chasing bubbles in the yard in an effort to catch, pop, or even eat as many as they can before they float away from reach or dissipate into the air. At a later stage in their development, many kids enjoy making homemade bubble solutions. While standing in the middle of a hula hoop placed in a small children's pool filled with the mixture, a child raises the hula hoop over her body to become enveloped in a huge living bubble.

Living in a bubble...oh how fun would that be? Or would it? Apparently that thought has taken on an entirely different meaning in today’s world. 

In a recent conversation, I was reminded once again that “you can’t live in a bubble!” This phrase of what feels to me like “condemnation”, has bothered me for years.  It goes back to a time when I had decided to homeschool our sons, and continued a few year later when we announced that we were moving to another state in an effort to provide a better environment for our family. I do realize of course, that life has its challenges regardless of where you reside, but what feels good at the time is usually the right decision and I have been since grateful for the inspiration that I had to relocate our family.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of playing with bubbles is … bursting them!  Actually, my desire here is not meant to burst anyone's bubble, but to curb the overuse of the phrase that one cannot live in a bubble. Why? Because I believe that most of us do, and often for very good reasons. Let me explain.

Parenting: We all know that most parents make decisions for their children long before they are born. Each of us brings into a relationship, our own set of values and childhood experiences. As I mentioned in my previous article “Seen and Not Heard”, we may decide on which aspects of our parents’ parenting styles we would like to discard and which we would like to model. Compromise is also a critical part in our co-parenting process when there are two parents involved.  What has been proven is that it is imperative that parents support one another, especially in front of their children.

Basic Needs: Once the baby is born, our first priority is to protect and nurture the infant. This is when most of us suddenly become well acquainted with the mamma and papa bear syndrome. In a healthy environment, the child will be well cared for physically and emotionally.  The child’s safety will also be at the top of the list from the selection of cribs and car seats, age appropriate toys and household products to protect the child when they become physical mobile… and curious!  

Residence: This may or may not have been a factor prior to the child’s birth, but I feel pretty confident in claiming that most parents will at one point seek out the best neighborhood to assist them in raising their children.  At some point, it becomes important to know who the neighbors are and whether or not for example,  there may be a sex offender around the corner across the street from the local park or school. Not everyone will be in a financial position to relocate, but often parents do in an effort to protect their family.

Employment:  Where one works can have an impact on your family life. Oftentimes adjustments or even major changes must be made to ensure that your family is able to enjoy as much quality (and quantity) time as possible. Role reversals may be needed in particular families to ensure the best home environment to fit your desired goals in rearing your children.

Friendships: Many people find themselves re-evaluating their circle of friends and neighbors as their child grows into an impressionable age.  Social activities with friends may decrease, certain lifestyles of those we associate with may suddenly seem less desirable as we become more and more concerned with how perceptive our children are of the people around them, even to the point of mimicking words and behaviors. We may also curtail the relationship our kids may have with certain children in the neighborhood as undesirable conduct becomes apparent. 

Education:  Not everyone can nor should homeschool; however, since your child will be attending school for at least 12-13 years of their lives, you undoubtedly will want to make their education the best possible experience and one that will help cultivate good study skills, a love and desire for greater learning that will also invoke higher education goals. Choosing schools for that purpose may again necessitate a move, an inner district transfer, enrolling them into a private school, or even homeschooling.

Boundaries and Rules: I believe that raising teenagers is most difficult when there are no rules or boundaries set in advance, and more importantly not fully enforced. Your teens need to know without a doubt what you expect of them in all aspects of their lives. Again, this is what would be decided upon long before the child reaches adolescence.

As our children mature, they will make their own choices for their lives. Most of us want that for them, although it can be difficult for us to watch without feeling the need to warn or intervene. In our wisdom, we have hopefully learned that we also felt the need to be autonomous. Bursting forth out of the bubble that our parents had created for us, is a normal part of the maturing process. Our children will actually begin to create their own world bubble by selecting where they want to live, who they feel most comfortable associating with, and how they view the world around them free from the bubble that was created by their parents in an effort to keep them safe and healthy.

Living in a bubble brings me comfort in knowing that I am the architect of my our own environment, protecting myself and my family by shielding us as much as possible from the influences that are not in alignment with the values that we have set for ourselves. The choice we made was to not be affected by every whim, nor influenced by current fads. 

Through knowledge, wisdom, and insight each household is able to choose how they design their own bubble. It is important that each of us is respectful of the choices that others have made for our own families and that we teach our children to be respectful as well in spite of the differences they may see in others' lifestyle choices.

With wisdom, love and respect, work your own bubble for the good of yourself and your family.